Put down the Phone, Pick up the moment.
We are raising the first generation of true digital natives but here is what is getting lost in translation, your kids need you not your wifi passwords.
The reality check, look around any restaurant, park or even your own living room. Parents on phones, kids on tablets, everyone together but somehow apart from each other. Sounds familiar right?
What science actually says:
Research shows us the same truth that children develop EQ ( emotional intelligence),empathy and Social intelligence through real human interaction.
Today we have very confident and out spoken children and young minds able to express themselves but only online on instagram, TikTok, Snapchat, VK, telegram, WeChat and the opposite in reality
As a scientist and engineer I think "reality is the only thing that is real"
And some great thinkers think the same too, Aristotle in his works on metaphysics grappled with the concept and nature of reality and being, he thought to understand what it means for something to exist independently of our perception of it.
Plato, through his theory of forms argued that true reality exists in a physical realm of ideal forms and the non physical world we perceive is just a shadow or an imperfect copy of that reality. In this sense he would say that the forms are what is truely real.
The physical messy, imperfect face to face moments is where the magic begins.
Your kids are taking notes, every time you choose your phone or laptop over their story about their day, you are teaching them about something.
Every time you put the device down to really listen to your kids and give them undivided attention, you are teaching them something too. So which lesson do you want them to learn? The answer is yours!
This is not about becoming a tech phobic family off the grid, it is fully about being intentional with everything and knowing what matters.
Technology is a tool, sometimes greatly helpful and sometimes just a distraction from what really matters most.
Small changes, big impact
- have phone free meals ( yes even you)
- create a charging station where devices are shutdown before bed time or set them up for only emergency calls.
- replace ‘´let me just check this’´ with ‘´ Tell me more about that and ´´how was your day’’ then listen
- show them that people are more interesting than pixels
Your children will remember the parent who was present not the one who was perfect.
They will remember feeling heard not ignored. They will remember the connection you had not your instagram or social media feed.
They will remember the moments shared together whether in happiness or sadness /sorrow.
Just know your children will remember something about you but the question is What will they remember? the present or unavailable parent.
I grew up with both my parents despite my father being an Electrical Engineer and my mother being an Accountant and them having busy schedules l remember everything single moment we shared and still sharing.
For example my MAM cooking food at Midnight although we had dinner and us eating it at 1am in the morning just because she wants the family to have it freshly cooked and Dad never missed any of my moments from School, home, hospital, basketball games and so on.
You donot have to explain everything to your kids, use the 80/20 rule, Show them instead of explaining. They are watching what you do , more than what you say.
Your undivided attention is one of the greatest gift you can give your children. Embrace imperfection and make those moments count.