Back

What to Do If I Am Being Bullied at School?

We go to school for at least 9 years, we spend most of every day there - that's a lot of time. But it's not a pleasant time for everyone. Statistics say that one in three students suffers from bullying and seven out of ten classmates witness bullying. Most people sympathize with the victim but don't know how to help or are reluctant to intervene. Bullying is more common than we think, and it has a negative impact on the whole team. No one can feel safe in a place where power or arrogance decides everything. Bullying is dangerous because anyone can be a victim. Even strong and confident aggressors are often former or future victims of bullying themselves. If one is unlucky to be the victim today, another will become it tomorrow. Bullying is a class-wide problem. But it stops where the majority refuses to be silent and to tolerate and encourage violence.

What Are the Signs That You Are Being Bullied?

You hate going to school and try to avoid it in any way you can. For example, you might pretend to be sick.
You don't have many friends and your classmates refuse to sit at the same desk with you or invite you to group games or projects.
Many people think you are 'weird', 'different' or 'worse than others'.
You are often called names, have an offensive nickname and are constantly teased.
You are regularly hit, pushed or kicked.
Your belongings are taken, damaged or extorted.
Abusers make you do humiliating things.
Some of them wait for you after school to continue the bullying.
You are never invited to school parties and birthdays, you are excluded from school chat rooms, rumors and gossip.
You are threatened against telling anyone about bullying.
You blame yourself for what is going on or you feel that you deserve it.

If you are constantly experiencing at least half of these things at school, then it's real bullying.

What to Do in This Situation?

Tell someone you trust about bullying

It's perfectly normal to defend yourself and ask for help. This is not a weakness or snitching, but a sign of strength. Only a strong person can recognize a problem and find a solution. Tell someone you trust about the bullying. It is best to tell a parent or teacher because adults are better able to help.

Be on Your Own Side

Imagine what your ideal friend would be like and treat yourself with the same care and respect. Don't blame yourself. Abusers can do terrible things, but that says more about them than it does about you. It's impossible to like everyone because there are no perfect people. Everyone has the right to be themselves - just like you. No one deserves to be bullied, and neither do you.

Learn to Sustain a Battle

No matter how hard it is, train your stamina and self-control. It's harder for a bully to find your pain points if they do not see your reaction. You can stand in front of a mirror at home and put on the calmest, most indifferent expression possible. "Put it on" every time you encounter an aggressor. Practice looking straight ahead and not looking away for at least a few seconds - you can do this in front of a mirror. Posture also gives confidence: try not to slouch, keep your head straight and practice a relaxed walk.

Think of a Response in Advance

Bullies won't warn you before they attack, but you can prepare yourself. Try to think about how you might respond to an offensive remark. Act outside the box, but avoid counter-aggression, as it will only spur the attacker on. For example, instead of "look at yourself", calmly say: "Why are you saying this to me?". In response to the next insult, confidently repeat your question: "Why are you telling me this?". This way you will demonstrate self-confidence and put the aggressor at a dead end: now he needs to answer the question and justify himself.

Team Up with Others

Bullies hurt loners, but they probably won't dare attack a group of friends. If you know pupils who are also being bullied, try to team up with them. Or look at classmates who are not involved in bullying. There may be someone who will take your side.

Avoid Wrong Places

The main companions of bullying are silence and darkness. Therefore, it is better not to go alone to the aggressors' favorite places where adults rarely come, such as dark corridors, corners under stairs, or toilets. It is also better to walk to and from school in companies - the bellies do not need any extra witnesses.

Keep a Diary

It is likely that you will have to prove that bullying is taking place, so it is important to have hard facts - this will increase the chances of adults taking action quickly. Try to document incidents of bullying with time, place and possible witnesses. If you're being bullied on social media, don't rush to delete the messages - take a screenshot. These are all important pieces of evidence for your defense.

Sometimes The Best Defense Is to Flee Unfortunately, bullying cannot always be defeated. Especially when it occurs with the silent consent of the majority. If you can't find support at school, there are more bullies appearing, and the bullying is getting unbearable, think about how to persuade your parents to transfer you to another school. The evidence of bullying you've collected will come in handy here too.

If you are being bullied at school and don't know who to talk to, do not try to solve the problem on your own. You can call a toll-free Bullying Counselling Hotline from 10.00 a.m. to 8.00 p.m., Monday through Friday. Save the number: 8 (800) 500-44-14.